When you're growing up, it's easy to have a skewed sense of what you "should" be doing. We're packed like sardines in school from 4 or 5 years old, with a group of other little humans that are all trying to figure it out. We want to be cool, we want to fit in. Some of us, even being the contrarian... and not wanting to be cool or fit in, is really.. if you think about it, trying to be cool and fit in, just somewhere else.
You're stuck with your tribe at this time. Based on where you live, how old you are... your tribe is basically set.
When we're finally thrown out into the world... we have to figure out where we fit into all of this.
Some people try to stay relevant, and others... seem to disappear.
As I continue this journey to define and understand my "why" more clearly... an interesting thought came up.
In the earlier years of my twenties, I cared so much more about the approval of others. I think it's natural to feel this way, because all of your life up until just a few years ago... there was a "status quo", and it was how you survived as a kid.
Now as my twenties begin to wane, I see that most of the people you know fade away. Everyone goes their separate ways...It sucked, drifting away from so many friends.. but today, I have many new ones. The only thing that hasn't changed... is the fact that you are still there, for yourself.
Here's why NOBODY CARES... SO JUST SEND IT.
Do you know all of your ancestors from just five generations ago? What about ten?
Five generations before you... there are 32 great-great-great-grandparents. (About 125 Years Ago)
Ten Generations before you... there are 2048 great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents! (About 250 Years Ago)
Chances are most of us haven't met our great-great-great-grandparents, let alone your great(x8)-grandparents.
Unless we are genealogists or into that sort of thing... we probably don't even know all of their names or anything about them, who they were... what they were like... what they did... nothing!
If you met them today on the street, you'd likely pass each other by as strangers. That is how quickly, in the grand scheme of things, we're wiped out of here.
Now think... 5 generations into the future, most of us will probably not be remembered either. Not even by our own family.
We will fade away... We will quickly be forgotten, and the people who do happen to remember us... will eventually die and be forgotten as well. It can seem grim, and sad, but it's the truth.
You hear it all the time.. people saying that they want to leave a legacy. It's likely that for most of us... nothing that we build, will last more than a few generations before it fades away.
Your trust, your estate, your foundation, your achievements and accomplishments... nothing here lasts.
Records will be broken, trusts will be dissolved and estates liquidated, your achievements will become irrelevant. None of it really matters to anyone, as much as it matters to you.
There were 46 presidents here in the United States. At one point, each of these people were arguably one of, if not THE most powerful person in the world at the time. Most people can't name more than a handful... and many of the things that they put into place and worked hard to enact, are no longer here.
Do you know this guy?
Well he was the 13th President of the United States, Millard Fillmore. I had no idea who he was until searching him up today.
At one point he was the leader of the Free World, one of the most powerful men on earth... and today, most within his own country do not know of or remember him.
Just a few generations later is no longer a thought in most people's minds.... So why do we think people care so much about what we are doing?
Everyone's just trying to figure it out, and everyone's too caught up with that to really worry about what the other person's doing!
Something that trips me out... is the fact that we are all experiencing life for the first and last time here on earth... and no one really has it all figured out. Growing up, you think that adults somehow just know everything.
I used to think that when you get older, you just know things. Then I became one, and I realize... none of us really have it all figured out.
It's not like any of us are on their second try and know all the routes. None of us have a do-over. The person a little older or a little wiser than you... is also experiencing their phase of life, for the first time just like you are.
There's no end to the experiences and the learning that we will do in our lives, and that's part of the journey!
As I think about my "why"... I think back to when I thought weighed more heavily on what others thought and how that's changed now.
I remember early on, a peer telling me it's "just your dad's business", implying it was a dead end for me.
If I had let that sway me then... I wouldn't be having the blast that I'm having, or be in the position I'm in today.
I was never forced to be involved in what I do. I remember being 17, right out of high school and was offered to work in the family business, go to school, or find a job... and I made the decision.
Looking back.... 10 years later, I'm glad I brushed it off what my peers said as we all figured it out.. because if I let something like that affect me, it would have probably changed the course for me by a mile.
Today, what I am really trying to find is... what I want.
Not what I think other's think I should be doing.
If you believe in something, I think you should just do it.
At the end of the day, the only approval you need to seek is your own.
I don't think your "why" should involve the influence of other people.
Not your parents, your friends... maybe your partner, if you have one... but aside from that... people's opinions don't really matter.
Do what fills you up...
Do what challenges you to become better...
Do what you deem worth going through the hard days for...
We're all figuring this out, and who's to say anyone's answer is right or wrong?
None of this is permanent, including the choices you make.
Your "why" will change...
I think of this all the time.
One day... my "why" will be different. I have to be ready and able to step away from what I'm doing, when the time is right. I know I won't be able to do what I do forever, and whether it be in 5 or 50 years... it will come to an end.
None of it is permanent, no one cares... so don't let that weigh you down!
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
~Steve Jobs, Former Apple Inc. CEO (& My All Time Favorite CEO)